What is hafu? Hafu (ハーフ：literally “half”) is the colloquial term for people who have one Japanese parent and one non-Japanese parent. So in my case, my mother is Japanese and my father is White.
(my older sister and I celebrating a mini Hinamatsuri in Green Bay)
This means I live two lives in a way! I grew up and spent the majority of my time in Wisconsin, but I would get to visit my family in Japan every year for the month of June once school got out. Of course it was a vacation but also it was like returning home - I hold just as much nostalgia for cozy Christmases with snow outside with my friends in Green Bay as I do eating Papico popsicles by the Kodaira park watching the koi fish swim with my siblings and cousins.
(Not actually the Kodaira park, but you can guess it’s sort of similar to this!)
(My cousin, I, brother, and grandpa eating ice cream)
Beyond that, my mother worked hard to make sure my siblings and I knew how to speak, read, and write Japanese, that we ate Japanese food, appreciated Japanese media and art, attended to Japanese customs and traditions, and felt a true connection to the country and culture from within the house even smack dab in the middle of the Midwest. I hold pride in being able to call the country my home, and the memories I have there as a part of me.
(every year we make sure to write our Tanabata wishes and hang them on bamboo trees)
(my brother and I at a shrine in Kichijoji)
But being hafu is also complicated: Japan is a homogenous country with 97.8% of the population identifying as Japanese. So in contrast, anyone who isn’t full Japanese is automatically a foreigner or “外人” (gaijin) - to them, Japan can’t be their home. In some ways I suppose this is true, I was born and raised in America and I’ve spent the vast majority of my life here. I stand out from the crowd from physical appearance to my mentality on certain topics so it’s no wonder people may think I don’t belong. But in other ways, I feel like that isn’t fair to who I am. I hold Japan near and dear to my heart just as much as I do my hometown here in America. I don’t think I could separate the Japanese from the American in me and vice versa - people aren’t easily boxed in like that.
I’m sure many hafu’s can relate to this feeling of unsureness. We all experience this half-in half-out, not quite belonging to either feeling. I don’t know if it ever goes away! But times are changing, and the homogeneity of the country is evolving. Nowadays, there is increasing diversity and many other hafu’s are becoming mainstream and commonplace in media and in real life. And no matter what, it is not up to other people to determine my identity or where I choose to call home. Japan and America hold equally special places in my heart and I am forever grateful to have the opportunity to belong to both!
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